Just when I think I'm done,
Just when I think I will fall over the edge,
Just when I feel like I'm standing at the bottom of a big black hole,
Just when...
She picks me back up,
He gives me a hug without a question,
I see the other side.
These past few days have been such a roller coaster for me (can you tell?) I can't really say why. I know I've been supper stressed about money though this is not usually enough to tip the scales. The past few days I found myself just crying just to cry because it just felt better to let it out rather than hold it in any more. Im not sure if it was a cry if despair or relief but it had to come out. My children love me and they just don't ask why I'm crying. Maybe because they know it's no big deal, maybe because they know it will pass or maybe because they are used to it... Who knows? But it is easy to have things pulled together for an hour or two at night when she is home.
So what changed today? I did something. I did something productive that was not all about my kids or my business or the money that I don't have right now. In the big picture, one little website and Facebook page don't really make that much of a difference but to me, even if just for today, I did something. Something productive that I can put my name on and look at at the end of the day and say "I did that." I figured it out! I am worth something!
So just when I thought I would fall in and never get out, I found the edge (even if by accident) and crawled out of that darkness.
Tomorrow will be better, it always is.
